Andy ([info]emperoraf) wrote,
@ 2009-07-01 00:53:00
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On Life and Things Related (2)
I FINALLY HAVE good news on the job front, as I've been offered two jobs. One is a full time position (30 hours a week) and the second is part-time (16 hours). After being turned down by everyone and their mother, I think I'll take them both. My record: 2-8. Thank the Lord! And thank you for your prayers.

SORRY THAT IT has been so quiet -- unusually quiet -- around here. I suppose that the whole application/interview process/having-that-positive-tone-in-my-voice wears me out because it feels like I am my own pimp and my own whore. I am my own pimp in that I am selling myself with words like "stellar", "communicator" and "proven" to potential employers. I am my own whore because I am constantly trying to please that Pimp (perceived self-image, perhaps?) and give a good show for the people across the desk. Constantly selling myself as "better" and "faster" and "able to carry an idea from inception to completion" and on and on and ad nauseum.

I GOT SO tired of it. In fact, when I interviewed with both of the offered positions I was honest with them. After they both told me that they would get in touch with me, I said something like this: "I've interviewed at numerous places and many of them have not contacted me back. I would appreciate it if you contact me as soon as possible." At one of them I said explicitly: "Is there anyway we can expedite this process?" Ironically, one smiled and immediately ushered me into a meeting with the owner of the company. When the second job called me back with an offer, they specifically mentioned that they appreciated my candor. Who da' thunk it?

AFTER I HEARD about the second job, I went to Starbucks -- that great American wasteland -- to tell my friend and roommate. I sat there for awhile enjoying my coffee, my plush seat and marveled about how many people type in public places (there is a Family Guy sketch about this but I can't find it). I felt rather artsy in that setting, which I'm sure is a coffeehouse's intended purpose. I share with you, therefore, a little piece of crappy verse that was inspired by these last few weeks. I sure it wasn't the only crappy piece of poetry written there that day:

Fallen, fallen is Babylon the Great!
She who was both Pimp and Whore,
charging thousands more
from those whose cheeks would turn.

THAT'S ALL FOR now.



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[info]luvs_chicago
2009-07-01 10:51 am UTC (link)
Yay for jobs! I found that when I got my job at the church, I gave my cliche, "This is why you should hire me..." that all the books & websites tell you to give. Then, I said, "But you've heard that from everyone. Here's the truth..." That went a long way in getting me hired. I think employers like someone who stands out.

I think this is the clip you want.

Now I want a latte. Dammit, Andy!

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[info]emperoraf
2009-07-01 03:20 pm UTC (link)
Thank you! That's one of my favorite FG moments!

DON'T talk to me that way! I'm a grown-ass man, durn it!

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[info]fairy_grrl
2009-07-01 07:38 pm UTC (link)
When I interviewed at my job, I had a speed-dating type interview where five or six different managers came in and interviewed me. They all asked the same questions that every interviewer asks, and by the final interview, I was tired. I had been out of a job for almost two months, my radiotor busted on my way to my interview, and my husband and I had gotten into a huge fight before I left the house. I was tired of telling everyone how much I wanted this job.

The last manager asked, "So, why do you want to change professions?" (I had been a bookkeeper previously and was dying to get into sales.)

I looked him dead in the face and responded: "Have you ever seen American Beauty?" He nodded. "You know the scene in the beginning, where Kevin Spacey is in the shower and says 'This is the highlight of my day'?" He nodded. "If I don't change professions right away, that will be me in 10 years.

Needless to say, I was hired. And I love love love my job more than I could have ever imagined.

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